I Realized...

I realized ...
That each time we say sorry,
It is often too late;
That the words are often meaningless,
Unless spoken with much inner senses,
Utter realization & self-depreciation.

I realized ...
That each time we argue,
It is often heated and prolonged;
That the hatred goes deep down inside,
Like a long list of vengeance accumulated,
Like an array of mistakes collaborated.

I realized ...
That each time we face each other,
At a time of remorse & anger,
We seldom see things eye to eye;
And we tend to suffocate each other,
With feelings of resentment & despair,
Not that we abhor each other so much,
But it is often with so much love for another,
THAT WE OFTEN TEND TO HURT THE ONE WE LOVE MOST.

I realized ...
That each time your anger meets mine,
No one tends to retreat;
We continue to set fire ablaze,
Permitting our emotions to outweigh our wisdom,
Like two storms in a teacup,
Like two blades swirling at one another.

But I also realized ...
That each time we quarrel & squabble,
My feelings for you grow stronger.
My senses are heightened & my emotions magnified,
By a sentiment so fervent & passionate,
That I become longing for you,
Your touches and your loving,
That the word missing you,
Could only be a portion of my deep sensitivity,
To what you may consider lame & futile,

But please realize ...
I am just being true to my feelings.

- Adam Mikael Aris -

In Your Sleep, You Kept Us Awake

I could still recall...

When we were younger,
As we flipped through the chronicles of history,
Memories just cannot ignore...

We were bold enough,
To speak of our minds,
We were brave enough,
To take all kinds of chances,
We had our differences,
But we learnt to live with it,
We were passionate, carefree and energetic,
Thinking that our youth was eternal...
In our minds,
We are young still...

In the murmurs of a misty morning,
You left us all in a sudden,
No gush of wind,
No clamouring thunder,
No rush of clouds harbouring above the skies,
Just a quiet, solemn contemplation,
As you lay down in repose.

Your passing saddens us all,
Not just through the tears of your weeping children,
Nor through the anguish and the pain of your loved one,
But by the thoughts that anything could happen,
Anything could be triggered,
Anything is possible...
In this very day and age,
In our short and sheltered life.

Sending us a gentle yet breezy reminder,
That life and all of its relevancies,
Are just a temporary treasure,
A mid-term pleasure,
That no amount of men could measure,
For certain...

In your deep unperturbed sleep,
You had kept us all awaken...
For that is indeed your aide memoire to us all.


- Adam Mikael Aris -

(A tribute to a departed colleague, a Malay Collegian, Shahrol Nizam Yusoff, who left us on 22nd October 2007)